I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
