my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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