we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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