He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My underwear smells like fireworks.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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