I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Plan B is the new Plan A
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
