And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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