I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize