I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
