who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
