Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
