Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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