How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
