i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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