Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He shit in the fireplace
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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