i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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