My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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