he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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