This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
