READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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