I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
