I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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