You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize