Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
