Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
