I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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