I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
