I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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