awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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