I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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