Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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