sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
