If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
