ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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