Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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