The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
