So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
