the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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