I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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