He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
