just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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