He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
