he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
