I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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