and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
