cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
