Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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