remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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