Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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