Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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