I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize