There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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