I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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