party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
