I molested 6 butterflies tonight
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
