Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
