It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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