That's intense
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
