There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
this will be a night to untag.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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