is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
