I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
