Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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