i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
