That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
