Cold hands, warm shart.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
