is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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