I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My feet surprised me
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